Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Buttezview: Radiohead - "In Rainbows"

more like "in gaybows" ehehehehehe





well well well look who's back!! after disappearing off the face of the earth after their shitty prog rock concept album about a fascist dentist a few years back, "heil to the teeth", king indie fags RADIOHEAD are back with more shit that is going to make those closeted pitchfork writers want to give blowjobs to Mr. Happy Thom Yorke (unless they're lesbians then they're dreaming about teagan and sara's shecocks)

FIRST OF ALL, I am SICK of this GUFF about how Radiohead have gone about selling this latest piece of shite. they are not cool and wild and reckless because they are using publicity just like the usual whores of the music industry. You see, Thom and the Zoloft gang used ROCKTOBER to promote their shitty album. Yessireeee they waited until the first of ROCKTOBER to announce the release of this album on the tenth of ROCKTOBER thus taking advantage of a HOLY FESTIVAL of ICY COLD CANS OF COKES FROM BLACK THUNDERS

this is like leonard cohen using ramadan to promote his new album!!!

also wtf at the usual fags from the guardian/whatever trendy left "newspaper" pissing their pants about this strategy of selling it over the internets? HELLO EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED iTUNES? NO! THEN STOP HAVING YOUR FAGGY FOCCACIA LUNCHES AND DO SOME RESEARCH, SON!!!

seriously this is retarded. guys like prince, david bowie and antipope julian XXI have been selling mp3s on the internet since 1987. and because that homogay thom yorke does it now it's news??? i don't think so, tim

and the price! who cares! when was the last time anyone under the age of 15 or over 45 purchased music? about 1998, dudes. and that shitty band who i cant remember because they were so shit gave away their album in MAY!! and they didn't ask for ANYTHING!!

for my review i went to get a copy from the radiohead internets site and when they asked me what I should pay I entered "-$100" because i think radiohead OWE ME $100 if i have to listen to their shitty album. that wasn't accepted so i torrented it HAW HAW STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN NOW THOM

but, wait a sec, holmes. what if you don't have internets or dial-up?? then you have to buy a record for $900 that includes a vinyl copy and a video of the drummer masturbating over a picture of avril lavigne (i have seen this and it is not pretty)

so thom is hating on the non internet pplz of the world

now who can't get internet? poor people!

where do the majority of the world's poor people live? africa!

what colour skin do africans have? mostly black

you see? YOU SEE? THOM YORKE DOESN'T WANT BLACK PEOPLE LISTENING TO HIS MUSIC!! this is final proof that thom yorke is a bigger racist than eric clapton and bryan ferry combined!!

arsehole!!

anyway before this turns into a dom passantino review (ha ha ha, he can only get a gig at *DROWNED IN SOUND* now what a fag now he has to write shit about art brut) let's go through this piece of shit - TRACK BY TRACK

now first of all some tuneless fags have said this is like talk talk's post rock albums. these fags are retards because mark hollis knew how to write a song. must have been the heroin. and this shite is not even 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000004% good as those guitars on the rainbow. this rawks, yo. my housemate's stupid fag boyfriend was around saturday and i think he hated it.

what would he know!!!

1, 2 Step

oh look an ironic indie cover of a recent pop release

:ROLLEYES:

because thom yorke thinks he is anywhere near as talented as ciara. it'll be funny when the popjustice homos string him up by the balls!!!

seriously, this kinda of shit sucks. and i'm not just talking travis (lol travis). except for that maximo parkcover of justin thimberlake which was like a 3rd rate A CERTAIN RATIO. or aztec cameras OBVIOUSLY.

the only thing worse, btw, is ironic pop cover of indie music. i would say the only punishment worthwhile for lily allen is gangrape but she wouldn't notice because her vagina is too damn loose!!

Bodysnatchers

more like timesnatchers as in you're wastin' my time thom listening to yer bitchin'

Nude

the bassist dude gets naked and tries to rape thom. hijinks!!

Weird Fishes/Apreggi

this shit is why radiohead sucks the cock. they are so crap that they need TWO TITLES for ONE SONG because they have no imagination, no talent, no doing verbs, etc, etc.

here's an example:

GOOD BAND: OMD because Andy McCluskey was like "let's make TWO SONGS about joan of arc while i get a perm" so they made TWO SONGS about joan of arc and he got a rad 80s perm

BAD BAND: radiohead because thom is like "ohhh how depressing is life and oh god i'm going to screw the record industry over even through i've made millions off those guys and i'm going to make sure all the office admin people who are all only temps and get paid shit all lose all their jobs...and ohhh i can't decide what title to give my shit song so i will give them both while i lay in scrooge mcduck's money pit"

All I Want

haha an echo and the bunnymen cover

you're not even chris martin, thom

at least that kid had the balls to say he was a virgin until he was 27

Faust Amp

your amp is busted because the guitars sound like SHIIITY SHIT

Reckoner

i reckon this song sucks and is boring

much like yr mom

House of Cards

wtf with this women singing in these songs btw

SPENT THE RECORD COMPANY ON HOOKERS AND THEN USED IT FOR YOUR OWN GAIN!!!

Jisgaw Falling Into Place

actually this song sounds like Turds Falling Into Toliets (for realz)

Videotape

heh typical luddites. now only are these fags are the last to use the internet to sell music, they sing a song about VIDEOTAPES. and probably BETA. ever heard of something called a DVD, thom???


The Verdict

if you still like this album despite the DAMNING EVIDENCE, you are a dumbass who only listens to people you think are trend setters. in this case, you think people from THE INTERNET are trend setters. therefore, you are the saddest nerd in history. please proceed to make a certificate on microsoft publisher with that statement and hang it up on your wall. then stare at it for thirty minutes for every day for the rest of your life untill you kill yourself with an overdoes of zoloft (i give it two weeks)

esteban buttez in tha BUTTEZSPHERE

yo fagz this is ESTEBAN BUTTEZ the NUMBER ONE INTERNET MUSIC JOURNALIST and i am back to pwn you fagz at the writing now those fey gay fag feyfags at Stylus are DEAD (todd burns u suck at life and nick southall you are real gay) and Pitchfork? who da fuckstill reads pitchdork?

ANYWAY i know some of my holmes who know me are asking "ESTEBAN BUTTEZ? You rejected Stylus, Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, The Guardian, The Welsh Communist Party Newsletter...why are you lowering yourself to the BLOGOPSHERE?"

Wellllll for a start you gay fag - it's the BUTTEZSPHERE. secondly this is where its at - i read an article in the NME about it. also those fags radiohead (more like boring old cunt fags) are trying to take over the internet and i ain't lettin that happen.

more importantly both matchbox 2020 and radiohead and maynard g. krebbs are back and homeboy i gotta stop it and save music

STAY TUNED MY HOMIES!!