YESSIR after 271 years axl rose come back late last year to drop a hot new one on the world. now you must remember that shit took time. last time when axl released an album (lol spaghetti incident lol doesnt count) he was working with dudes like SLASH and BEETHOVEN and CHARLES GRODIN (from the hit films "BEETHOVEN" and "BEETHOVEN'S SECOND) and it was the year 1772. now it was 2008 and he had kinda worked with BUCKETHEAD but not and i guess he's found some dudes who havent had haircuts since Axl got on that bus with the black people he didnt like.
so how did it go down? lets review this TRACK BY TRACK:
Chinese Democracy
AXL YOU BUTTHEAD they dont have the democracy in china. look i live in sydney ok and that means i have a lot of sex with chinese girls. now i cant have this album which not only is called "chinese democracy" but has a song called "chinese democracy" in the bedroom just in case it causes issues in there which i dont want when i'm getting it on
THINK about it. also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Shackler's Revenge
who da fuck is a shackler and what is he going on about?? what is he revenging? AXL sounds like AXL again which would be great if it was 1887 or whenever he was last relevant. also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Better
more like WORSE
also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Street of Dreams
oh man what is this with the piano and the strings and seriously is this use your illusion III or what son?? also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
If The World
if the world got a dr pepper everything would be cool but typical AMERIKKA only gives dr pepper to AMERIKKA but you know what? last time i had a dr pepper it was at a sandwich shop in AMERIKKA and it wasnt panera bread. i didnt care for it TOO MUCH but it was less worse than the time when they tried to sell it at my high school for 20 cents and nobody bought it except for the dumbass kids. also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
There Was A Time
TWAT!! lol yr such a punning wordsmith, axl!!
also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Catcher In The Rye
Axl reborn as a...16-year-old with a LiveJournal??? also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Scraped
YAHHHH AXL'S BACK!! good song but is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Riad N' Bedouins
OMG THE MUSLIM BLACK ARABS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WHITE HOUSE AND NOW HAVE TAKEN OVER THE GUNS N' ROSES!! IT EVEN SOUNDS A BIT LIKE THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE SOCIALIST GAYS RATHER THAN GAY SOCIALISTS!! also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Sorry
you should be for making a nigga wait this long and is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
I.R.S.
OH MY GOD AXL WROTE A SONG ABOUT WRESTLING'S MIKE ROTUNDA
hey do you remember his feud with razor ramon?? or when he and ted dibase beat the hulk hogan?? maybe they should have got hulk hogan's daughter to sing on this song with a diss on this dude?? also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Madagascar
omg Axl wrote a song for a kid's film WHAT A FUCKING SELLOUT I'M TAKING THIS SHIT OUT AND GETTING THE NEW VELVET REVOLVER ALBUM...oh, maybe not. also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
This I Love
did axl actually wish the aids on freddie mercury and kenny everett but then felt sorry about it? i believe he did. also, is this the song with the Shaq Rap?
Prostitute
is THIS the song with the Shaq Rap?
The Verdict
growing up i knew a kid whose older brother got him all the guns n' roses albums. he grew up and turned out to be a child molester. anyways this tells you all you need to know but i would be happy to buy Axl a Pepsi all the same. its the taste of a new generation.
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