Saturday, November 10, 2007
12 FACTS you should know about rock/pop but DONT until NOW
i, esteban buttez, is here to bring you da truth about the music scenes. i aint afraid of the truth and i aint afraid of THE MAN who wants to keep all this hush hush and has...UNTIL NOW
so sit down and soak in these 12 FACTS that only esteban buttez can tell you because I have the insights and the insiders and the BALLS to tell it as a nigga sees it
1. white people stole the music from the black people but the black people stole it from the azns in the first place so it's all good
2. thom yorke's internet page history on his laptop includes this page
3. neil young's entire artistic output is crap except for about four songs (rockin in the free world NOT INCLUDED) and the album cover for "everybody's rockin" which was a real statement
4. all anton newcombe of the brian jonestown massacre has ever done is rape his fuckin' son and write a song about it
5. kevin shields once ate six double cheeseburgers for dinner. with fries.
6. AMY WINEHOUSE LIKES A DRINK OR TWO!!! THATS WHY THEY CALL HER WINEHOUSE, SON
7. also, amy whinehouse is a tranny
8. mos def is looking to one day become a member of king crimson and swap the underground hip hop for the OLD PROG GUFF
9. "underground" scottish artist momus isn't as good as his cousin, the guy from deacon blue
10. deacon blue's 'raintown' shits on that momus album where he sung about italian women raping japanese women
11. genesis does what nintendo'nt!!
12. inxs was the WORST band ever
THATS ALL FOR NOW BUTTEZ OUT!!
so sit down and soak in these 12 FACTS that only esteban buttez can tell you because I have the insights and the insiders and the BALLS to tell it as a nigga sees it
1. white people stole the music from the black people but the black people stole it from the azns in the first place so it's all good
2. thom yorke's internet page history on his laptop includes this page
3. neil young's entire artistic output is crap except for about four songs (rockin in the free world NOT INCLUDED) and the album cover for "everybody's rockin" which was a real statement
4. all anton newcombe of the brian jonestown massacre has ever done is rape his fuckin' son and write a song about it
5. kevin shields once ate six double cheeseburgers for dinner. with fries.
6. AMY WINEHOUSE LIKES A DRINK OR TWO!!! THATS WHY THEY CALL HER WINEHOUSE, SON
7. also, amy whinehouse is a tranny
8. mos def is looking to one day become a member of king crimson and swap the underground hip hop for the OLD PROG GUFF
9. "underground" scottish artist momus isn't as good as his cousin, the guy from deacon blue
10. deacon blue's 'raintown' shits on that momus album where he sung about italian women raping japanese women
11. genesis does what nintendo'nt!!
12. inxs was the WORST band ever
THATS ALL FOR NOW BUTTEZ OUT!!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
why POOFTAH MUSIC is better than DYKE MUSIC
POOFTAH MUSIC is pretty kewel because tha bumbandits know how to leik fun. they take the e'z and dance to disco and shitznit and then have the hard and rough bumsex! they gave us teh pet shopp boyz and shit. in fact, pooftahs are great fun and cool dudez when they are tryin not to put their diseased aids cocks in yr anus!!
DYKE MUSIC is boring guff shit because teh cunt eatin dykes hate funs. they have shitty dope (and dope leads to shitty music EVERY FUKKEN TIME) and write poems about their diseased vaginas and how teh men rap them every time when they are within 10 miles of said diseased vaginas and how trannies are teh evil because they are not even tolerant and listen to shitty guff folk musics. or tori amos crying about being raped. or tegan and sara masturbating their shecocks (this is the only known example of shecocks approved by teh dykes for sum reason maybe because they are teh boringz!!). in fact, dykes are boring untolerant bitches who need a cock in their anus. if teh pooftahs werent pooftahs, they'd perfect for the job and liven up teh dyke lives a little!!!!!
DYKE MUSIC is boring guff shit because teh cunt eatin dykes hate funs. they have shitty dope (and dope leads to shitty music EVERY FUKKEN TIME) and write poems about their diseased vaginas and how teh men rap them every time when they are within 10 miles of said diseased vaginas and how trannies are teh evil because they are not even tolerant and listen to shitty guff folk musics. or tori amos crying about being raped. or tegan and sara masturbating their shecocks (this is the only known example of shecocks approved by teh dykes for sum reason maybe because they are teh boringz!!). in fact, dykes are boring untolerant bitches who need a cock in their anus. if teh pooftahs werent pooftahs, they'd perfect for the job and liven up teh dyke lives a little!!!!!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SONGS TO PLAY WHILE PLAYING SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1 OR 2
nigga say i only say negative shit about music. nigga dat aint true.
ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SONGS TO PLAY WHILE PLAYING SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1 OR 2
hell yah
10. Ugly Kid Joe - "Cats in the Cradle"
ugly kid joe's best-selling album, "america's least wanted", is the most appropriately named album ever because NOBODY EVER WANTED TO LISTEN TO UGLY KID JOE! haha pwn. except for stoners back in '92 but who da fuck ever gave two shits about these losars?
anywayz its on list because we used to play sonic while dis was on the radio and that shiznit kinda gets in your brain even after cat stevens declared the jihad on ugly kid joe and killed them for ALLAH!!!!!! which is why YOU never heard of them again
9. Genesis - "Invisible Touch"
GENESIS DOES WHAT NINTENDON'T!!
also mah touch was invisible when i was hittin da b button and killin' up dr. robotnik with tha spin attacks
8. Peter Gabriel - "Steam"
about the same time that a nigga was first buying sonic the hedgehog, peter gabriel was at WOMADelaide because he had given adelaide the wonderful gift of a WOMAD and all the pot-smoking feral left hippies that come along with that ruin our parklands with disused flyers for mung bean liberation
thanks a lot arsehole!!!
(ps did you ever get to fuck kate bush, pete? if you did you would be my favourite musician evar)
7. Eric Clapton - "Tears In Heaven"
haha his stupid kid fell out of a window
6. Guns 'N' Roses - "November Rain"
by the time a DECENT sonic teh hedgehog games out for a next gen system, we'll be rawkin out to CHINESE DEMOCRACY owned
(has anyone told axl that they dont have democracy in china??)
5. New Order - "Regret"
haha barney is regretting hooking with johnny marr now he turned crap (still at least he wasnt at modest mouse level crap yet, no wonder even mike joyce has taken johnny's number of his mobile phone list) while hooooky is regretting the fact that he is a DUMB BUTT unless he is doing the bass in new order but especially when he is trying to be like barney but a crap version of barney if a thing is possible
stephen and gillian dont have to regret anything!!
4. U2 - "Even Better Than The Real Thing"
remember that brief period of time when u2 werent crap??
no neither do i!!
3. The Scorpions - "Wind of Change"
this is the soundtrack of how east germany was liberated by the communist fascists and given the awesome power of MULLETS and SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!! fuck you marx and lenin, DEMOCRACY IS TEH WINNAR AND NOT YUO and yr red sickle is no match for a blue hedgehog in nike shoes!!!
2. Sonic Youth - "Kool Thing"
SONIC YOUTH LIKES CHILLI DOGS
1. The Spin Doctors - "Two Princes"
this isnt only the best song to play sonic the hedgehog to this is only the best and most perfect song ever
but it did give the world the genre of "crap american jam band" so fuck that
ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SONGS TO PLAY WHILE PLAYING SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1 OR 2
hell yah
10. Ugly Kid Joe - "Cats in the Cradle"
ugly kid joe's best-selling album, "america's least wanted", is the most appropriately named album ever because NOBODY EVER WANTED TO LISTEN TO UGLY KID JOE! haha pwn. except for stoners back in '92 but who da fuck ever gave two shits about these losars?
anywayz its on list because we used to play sonic while dis was on the radio and that shiznit kinda gets in your brain even after cat stevens declared the jihad on ugly kid joe and killed them for ALLAH!!!!!! which is why YOU never heard of them again
9. Genesis - "Invisible Touch"
GENESIS DOES WHAT NINTENDON'T!!
also mah touch was invisible when i was hittin da b button and killin' up dr. robotnik with tha spin attacks
8. Peter Gabriel - "Steam"
about the same time that a nigga was first buying sonic the hedgehog, peter gabriel was at WOMADelaide because he had given adelaide the wonderful gift of a WOMAD and all the pot-smoking feral left hippies that come along with that ruin our parklands with disused flyers for mung bean liberation
thanks a lot arsehole!!!
(ps did you ever get to fuck kate bush, pete? if you did you would be my favourite musician evar)
7. Eric Clapton - "Tears In Heaven"
haha his stupid kid fell out of a window
6. Guns 'N' Roses - "November Rain"
by the time a DECENT sonic teh hedgehog games out for a next gen system, we'll be rawkin out to CHINESE DEMOCRACY owned
(has anyone told axl that they dont have democracy in china??)
5. New Order - "Regret"
haha barney is regretting hooking with johnny marr now he turned crap (still at least he wasnt at modest mouse level crap yet, no wonder even mike joyce has taken johnny's number of his mobile phone list) while hooooky is regretting the fact that he is a DUMB BUTT unless he is doing the bass in new order but especially when he is trying to be like barney but a crap version of barney if a thing is possible
stephen and gillian dont have to regret anything!!
4. U2 - "Even Better Than The Real Thing"
remember that brief period of time when u2 werent crap??
no neither do i!!
3. The Scorpions - "Wind of Change"
this is the soundtrack of how east germany was liberated by the communist fascists and given the awesome power of MULLETS and SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!! fuck you marx and lenin, DEMOCRACY IS TEH WINNAR AND NOT YUO and yr red sickle is no match for a blue hedgehog in nike shoes!!!
2. Sonic Youth - "Kool Thing"
SONIC YOUTH LIKES CHILLI DOGS
1. The Spin Doctors - "Two Princes"
this isnt only the best song to play sonic the hedgehog to this is only the best and most perfect song ever
but it did give the world the genre of "crap american jam band" so fuck that
Friday, November 2, 2007
ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SHITTEST BANDS OF ALL TIME
christ on a mountain bike son theres a lot of crappy bands out there. It's true you pull yo ass around the corner and you will see some punk ass 17 year old punks tryin to rawk out in the shittest way possible. if you ever have a kid and he/she grows up to do that, you have FAILED at being a parent. You know if you have succeeded if you have hit and bullied the child so much that he/she plays keyboards too fucken much
ANYWAY the point is the whole world is infested with shite bands like how nanobots will turn our punk asses into green goo once project 17 is launched (and it will)...
BUT only a certain number of bands - TEN in fact - can spend DECADES at being so shit that they end their fag ass asses on ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SHITTEST BANDS OF ALL TIME
why write this? because q and shitty music magz do this GUFF all the time and it gets them on news websites because HOLD THE PRESSES, TEH STONE ROSES IS STILL THE BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME
which is bullshit because even BRADFORD was better. i still prefer mozza's version of skinhead storming anywayz.
NOW HERE IS THE LIST SON
10. Led Zeppliens
thanks u fags for inventing heavy mental........NOT!!! now the whole world has had to put up with GUFF from "really deep" 16 year old nerds rawkin out on the guitar. fuck that. the fags couldnt come up with album names (II? FUCK THAT!!) or decent songs. or decent song names. bwyn-y-have-a-holiday-home-in-wales stomp? i dont think so tim. thankfully bozo the clown died of an alcholic posioning to split the band...not that he died of course because he changed his now to rappin ronnie reagan and became fuhrer of america
and shit those fagz are coming back for one night only for the corporations
stairway to heavens still rawks tho'
9. Sleater-Kinney
heh. nice try girls, GO BACK TO THE POTS AND PANS. oh wait, you already have. ZIIING!
8. Wolfmother
oh boy reheated 70s dinosaur rock BOY ISNT IT GREAT TO BE LIVING IN THE 20TH CENTURY AND LISTENING TO MODERN MUSIC? this shit pisses me off because every song right should sound like "together in electric dreams" not generic r&b guff or dinosaur rawk
ANYWAY only australians could come up with this crap and only australians could listen to it
7. Jet
see above but with "lol way to steal beatles songs lol"
6. The Beatles
heh. you know when your band sucks when the drummer is the most talented. AND IT'S TRUE, look at ringo's early solo career, son.
5. Muse
a few years back i brought this kinda cool shirt from french connection (lol) which was colourful and a bit fruity but it was cool and everyone liked it
then that fag from muse wore the exact same shirt at live 8
nigga i havent been able to wear it since
4. Revenge
Too easy.
3. U2
"THESE GUYS ARE FROM ENGLAND AND WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
2. The Rolling Stones
the world's best rock and roll band? yeahhhhhh...i dont think so. because if it wasit wouldnt have some big lipped atlanticist fascist (probably) tart who sings like a cross between a goat fucker, a crossdresser and a posh english fag (but not the good kind of posh english fag). neither would it have some drugged up muthafucka writin and playin shitty boogie shit and the same boogie shit since 1902. they also wouldnt have whored themselves out to THE MAN, wouldnt have stolen french train electricity (they would have been like OMD and used SOLAR POWER) and they wouldnt have been unhygenic and ate a mars bar out of a diseased vagina.
they would have also been nicer to brian jones.
the rolling stones are none of these things. they are nothing more than the flesh embodiment of the baby boomer spirit: that is their self-centered mission to own and fuck up the world and let us fuckers clean it up. and making housing unaffordable.
also they killed the black man at altamont. i have NO sympathy for when mick jagger dies from the AIDS (which he will) which is the black man's revenge
1. Pink Floyd
only australians really like these cunts
do i need to say more??
ANYWAY the point is the whole world is infested with shite bands like how nanobots will turn our punk asses into green goo once project 17 is launched (and it will)...
BUT only a certain number of bands - TEN in fact - can spend DECADES at being so shit that they end their fag ass asses on ESTEBAN BUTTEZ' TOP TEN SHITTEST BANDS OF ALL TIME
why write this? because q and shitty music magz do this GUFF all the time and it gets them on news websites because HOLD THE PRESSES, TEH STONE ROSES IS STILL THE BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME
which is bullshit because even BRADFORD was better. i still prefer mozza's version of skinhead storming anywayz.
NOW HERE IS THE LIST SON
10. Led Zeppliens
thanks u fags for inventing heavy mental........NOT!!! now the whole world has had to put up with GUFF from "really deep" 16 year old nerds rawkin out on the guitar. fuck that. the fags couldnt come up with album names (II? FUCK THAT!!) or decent songs. or decent song names. bwyn-y-have-a-holiday-home-in-wales stomp? i dont think so tim. thankfully bozo the clown died of an alcholic posioning to split the band...not that he died of course because he changed his now to rappin ronnie reagan and became fuhrer of america
and shit those fagz are coming back for one night only for the corporations
stairway to heavens still rawks tho'
9. Sleater-Kinney
heh. nice try girls, GO BACK TO THE POTS AND PANS. oh wait, you already have. ZIIING!
8. Wolfmother
oh boy reheated 70s dinosaur rock BOY ISNT IT GREAT TO BE LIVING IN THE 20TH CENTURY AND LISTENING TO MODERN MUSIC? this shit pisses me off because every song right should sound like "together in electric dreams" not generic r&b guff or dinosaur rawk
ANYWAY only australians could come up with this crap and only australians could listen to it
7. Jet
see above but with "lol way to steal beatles songs lol"
6. The Beatles
heh. you know when your band sucks when the drummer is the most talented. AND IT'S TRUE, look at ringo's early solo career, son.
5. Muse
a few years back i brought this kinda cool shirt from french connection (lol) which was colourful and a bit fruity but it was cool and everyone liked it
then that fag from muse wore the exact same shirt at live 8
nigga i havent been able to wear it since
4. Revenge
Too easy.
3. U2
"THESE GUYS ARE FROM ENGLAND AND WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
2. The Rolling Stones
the world's best rock and roll band? yeahhhhhh...i dont think so. because if it wasit wouldnt have some big lipped atlanticist fascist (probably) tart who sings like a cross between a goat fucker, a crossdresser and a posh english fag (but not the good kind of posh english fag). neither would it have some drugged up muthafucka writin and playin shitty boogie shit and the same boogie shit since 1902. they also wouldnt have whored themselves out to THE MAN, wouldnt have stolen french train electricity (they would have been like OMD and used SOLAR POWER) and they wouldnt have been unhygenic and ate a mars bar out of a diseased vagina.
they would have also been nicer to brian jones.
the rolling stones are none of these things. they are nothing more than the flesh embodiment of the baby boomer spirit: that is their self-centered mission to own and fuck up the world and let us fuckers clean it up. and making housing unaffordable.
also they killed the black man at altamont. i have NO sympathy for when mick jagger dies from the AIDS (which he will) which is the black man's revenge
1. Pink Floyd
only australians really like these cunts
do i need to say more??
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Esteban Buttez Bloggin' At The ARIA "Awards"
Last sunday the INTERNET MUSIC JOURANLIST JUGGERNAUT known as ESTEBAN BUTTEZ got an invite to the aria "awards"
now 99.9% of you all will be like "lol what shit is that" and i will be like "oh its like the BRITS but even shitter because it is for AUSTRALIAN RAWK only and you will be like "oh lol"
yeah son i was there and it was shit and i didnt even get a blowjob from that one from those twin sisters so fuck that. also they had that tooheys shit. homeboy i like tooheys old but that aint trendy so they were givin us music journalists that extra dry GUFF and i was like "GIVE ME COOPERS, SON" and this 16 year old jock fag cunt was like "uhhh we dont have that because we get paid by beer people to promote to trendy trendsetters like u"
bloody hell son
anyway the ceremony sucked ass and SILVERCHIAR (lol no rly) were voted best gayass aussie rawk band, best shitty boring straight ahead aussie rawk album (lol next year it will be wolfmother's direct cover of deep purple) and boringist boring jock fag shit evah
welcome to australia in the year 2007 lol rly that whiny fag talks about shitting his pants, marries that anoerixc bitch who had that song and makes a shitty shit album full of boring guff which is another copy of LOL FROGSTOMP LOL and thats the best australian album of the year
still who else were they gonna give it to? powdersfingers?
pays de merde
keith urban was there. he's the alcoholic fag that married nicole kidman because she only marries fag. he won the best australian country album which is like being student of the year in a special school
that bitch from sneaky system sounds has a dick lol
john butler trio won the award for "album most purchased by office workers aged 22-30 that have no taste and dont want to listen to anything challenging just some folk GUFF shit while they pretend to smoke weed but just drink shit beer like tooheys extra dry or BLONDE GUFF"
tha hilltop hoods had to win the best urban release again with their album from last year because ever since john howard killed the aboriginals and the sudanese refugees there are no black people in australia (except for arndale)
coming into the aria hall of fame was king fuckwit Nick Cave. what for? being shit!! haha wtf. here's how nick cave's career has progressed:
1887: goes to london because he thinks there some shitty english bands that are as shit as them and they sell about 16 cassettes. by the time he gets there, they have invented the new pop which is about 10000000x better and that upsets nick because he can't do music that is listenable only shitty GUFF STUFF
1891: upset nick becomes a tard and does music influenced by american tards that hate europe (copyright robin carmody). note that he now lives in EUROPE
1985: becomes shitty 80s goth botherer. even worse version of killing joke if possible.
1995: tries to fuck kylie minogue but fails
1997: becomes annoying uphimself cunt singing about god and shit
2007: looks like a crap version of ugly dave gray if such a thing is possible but without the dick jokes
final proof that you have to get into a hall of fame for australian "music" you have to be a tard and shit at every attempt you've made at music. this is why shit fag tards like nick cave and ac/dc (more like tard/retard) and other guff get in. and why teh go-betweens and the triffids and the good guys from the television advertisement for whitegoods retailer the good guys don't get in
basically you have to sing shit about retarded american goth shit or retarded reheated seventies dinosaur rawk to do well in this fucking lame ass country
while if you sing about cattle and cane and the good guys slashing prices on quality good you get shafted
which is bullshit because what has nick cave done for me? fuck all
what have the good guys done for me? i got a hella good toaster from the good guys at pooraka for ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS and they still sing better than nick cave
because they really do slash the prices
now 99.9% of you all will be like "lol what shit is that" and i will be like "oh its like the BRITS but even shitter because it is for AUSTRALIAN RAWK only and you will be like "oh lol"
yeah son i was there and it was shit and i didnt even get a blowjob from that one from those twin sisters so fuck that. also they had that tooheys shit. homeboy i like tooheys old but that aint trendy so they were givin us music journalists that extra dry GUFF and i was like "GIVE ME COOPERS, SON" and this 16 year old jock fag cunt was like "uhhh we dont have that because we get paid by beer people to promote to trendy trendsetters like u"
bloody hell son
anyway the ceremony sucked ass and SILVERCHIAR (lol no rly) were voted best gayass aussie rawk band, best shitty boring straight ahead aussie rawk album (lol next year it will be wolfmother's direct cover of deep purple) and boringist boring jock fag shit evah
welcome to australia in the year 2007 lol rly that whiny fag talks about shitting his pants, marries that anoerixc bitch who had that song and makes a shitty shit album full of boring guff which is another copy of LOL FROGSTOMP LOL and thats the best australian album of the year
still who else were they gonna give it to? powdersfingers?
pays de merde
keith urban was there. he's the alcoholic fag that married nicole kidman because she only marries fag. he won the best australian country album which is like being student of the year in a special school
that bitch from sneaky system sounds has a dick lol
john butler trio won the award for "album most purchased by office workers aged 22-30 that have no taste and dont want to listen to anything challenging just some folk GUFF shit while they pretend to smoke weed but just drink shit beer like tooheys extra dry or BLONDE GUFF"
tha hilltop hoods had to win the best urban release again with their album from last year because ever since john howard killed the aboriginals and the sudanese refugees there are no black people in australia (except for arndale)
coming into the aria hall of fame was king fuckwit Nick Cave. what for? being shit!! haha wtf. here's how nick cave's career has progressed:
1887: goes to london because he thinks there some shitty english bands that are as shit as them and they sell about 16 cassettes. by the time he gets there, they have invented the new pop which is about 10000000x better and that upsets nick because he can't do music that is listenable only shitty GUFF STUFF
1891: upset nick becomes a tard and does music influenced by american tards that hate europe (copyright robin carmody). note that he now lives in EUROPE
1985: becomes shitty 80s goth botherer. even worse version of killing joke if possible.
1995: tries to fuck kylie minogue but fails
1997: becomes annoying uphimself cunt singing about god and shit
2007: looks like a crap version of ugly dave gray if such a thing is possible but without the dick jokes
final proof that you have to get into a hall of fame for australian "music" you have to be a tard and shit at every attempt you've made at music. this is why shit fag tards like nick cave and ac/dc (more like tard/retard) and other guff get in. and why teh go-betweens and the triffids and the good guys from the television advertisement for whitegoods retailer the good guys don't get in
basically you have to sing shit about retarded american goth shit or retarded reheated seventies dinosaur rawk to do well in this fucking lame ass country
while if you sing about cattle and cane and the good guys slashing prices on quality good you get shafted
which is bullshit because what has nick cave done for me? fuck all
what have the good guys done for me? i got a hella good toaster from the good guys at pooraka for ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS and they still sing better than nick cave
because they really do slash the prices
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
The Buttezview: Radiohead - "In Rainbows"
more like "in gaybows" ehehehehehe
well well well look who's back!! after disappearing off the face of the earth after their shitty prog rock concept album about a fascist dentist a few years back, "heil to the teeth", king indie fags RADIOHEAD are back with more shit that is going to make those closeted pitchfork writers want to give blowjobs to Mr. Happy Thom Yorke (unless they're lesbians then they're dreaming about teagan and sara's shecocks)
FIRST OF ALL, I am SICK of this GUFF about how Radiohead have gone about selling this latest piece of shite. they are not cool and wild and reckless because they are using publicity just like the usual whores of the music industry. You see, Thom and the Zoloft gang used ROCKTOBER to promote their shitty album. Yessireeee they waited until the first of ROCKTOBER to announce the release of this album on the tenth of ROCKTOBER thus taking advantage of a HOLY FESTIVAL of ICY COLD CANS OF COKES FROM BLACK THUNDERS
this is like leonard cohen using ramadan to promote his new album!!!
also wtf at the usual fags from the guardian/whatever trendy left "newspaper" pissing their pants about this strategy of selling it over the internets? HELLO EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED iTUNES? NO! THEN STOP HAVING YOUR FAGGY FOCCACIA LUNCHES AND DO SOME RESEARCH, SON!!!
seriously this is retarded. guys like prince, david bowie and antipope julian XXI have been selling mp3s on the internet since 1987. and because that homogay thom yorke does it now it's news??? i don't think so, tim
and the price! who cares! when was the last time anyone under the age of 15 or over 45 purchased music? about 1998, dudes. and that shitty band who i cant remember because they were so shit gave away their album in MAY!! and they didn't ask for ANYTHING!!
for my review i went to get a copy from the radiohead internets site and when they asked me what I should pay I entered "-$100" because i think radiohead OWE ME $100 if i have to listen to their shitty album. that wasn't accepted so i torrented it HAW HAW STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN NOW THOM
but, wait a sec, holmes. what if you don't have internets or dial-up?? then you have to buy a record for $900 that includes a vinyl copy and a video of the drummer masturbating over a picture of avril lavigne (i have seen this and it is not pretty)
so thom is hating on the non internet pplz of the world
now who can't get internet? poor people!
where do the majority of the world's poor people live? africa!
what colour skin do africans have? mostly black
you see? YOU SEE? THOM YORKE DOESN'T WANT BLACK PEOPLE LISTENING TO HIS MUSIC!! this is final proof that thom yorke is a bigger racist than eric clapton and bryan ferry combined!!
arsehole!!
anyway before this turns into a dom passantino review (ha ha ha, he can only get a gig at *DROWNED IN SOUND* now what a fag now he has to write shit about art brut) let's go through this piece of shit - TRACK BY TRACK
now first of all some tuneless fags have said this is like talk talk's post rock albums. these fags are retards because mark hollis knew how to write a song. must have been the heroin. and this shite is not even 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000004% good as those guitars on the rainbow. this rawks, yo. my housemate's stupid fag boyfriend was around saturday and i think he hated it.
what would he know!!!
1, 2 Step
oh look an ironic indie cover of a recent pop release
:ROLLEYES:
because thom yorke thinks he is anywhere near as talented as ciara. it'll be funny when the popjustice homos string him up by the balls!!!
seriously, this kinda of shit sucks. and i'm not just talking travis (lol travis). except for that maximo parkcover of justin thimberlake which was like a 3rd rate A CERTAIN RATIO. or aztec cameras OBVIOUSLY.
the only thing worse, btw, is ironic pop cover of indie music. i would say the only punishment worthwhile for lily allen is gangrape but she wouldn't notice because her vagina is too damn loose!!
Bodysnatchers
more like timesnatchers as in you're wastin' my time thom listening to yer bitchin'
Nude
the bassist dude gets naked and tries to rape thom. hijinks!!
Weird Fishes/Apreggi
this shit is why radiohead sucks the cock. they are so crap that they need TWO TITLES for ONE SONG because they have no imagination, no talent, no doing verbs, etc, etc.
here's an example:
GOOD BAND: OMD because Andy McCluskey was like "let's make TWO SONGS about joan of arc while i get a perm" so they made TWO SONGS about joan of arc and he got a rad 80s perm
BAD BAND: radiohead because thom is like "ohhh how depressing is life and oh god i'm going to screw the record industry over even through i've made millions off those guys and i'm going to make sure all the office admin people who are all only temps and get paid shit all lose all their jobs...and ohhh i can't decide what title to give my shit song so i will give them both while i lay in scrooge mcduck's money pit"
All I Want
haha an echo and the bunnymen cover
you're not even chris martin, thom
at least that kid had the balls to say he was a virgin until he was 27
Faust Amp
your amp is busted because the guitars sound like SHIIITY SHIT
Reckoner
i reckon this song sucks and is boring
much like yr mom
House of Cards
wtf with this women singing in these songs btw
SPENT THE RECORD COMPANY ON HOOKERS AND THEN USED IT FOR YOUR OWN GAIN!!!
Jisgaw Falling Into Place
actually this song sounds like Turds Falling Into Toliets (for realz)
Videotape
heh typical luddites. now only are these fags are the last to use the internet to sell music, they sing a song about VIDEOTAPES. and probably BETA. ever heard of something called a DVD, thom???
The Verdict
if you still like this album despite the DAMNING EVIDENCE, you are a dumbass who only listens to people you think are trend setters. in this case, you think people from THE INTERNET are trend setters. therefore, you are the saddest nerd in history. please proceed to make a certificate on microsoft publisher with that statement and hang it up on your wall. then stare at it for thirty minutes for every day for the rest of your life untill you kill yourself with an overdoes of zoloft (i give it two weeks)
well well well look who's back!! after disappearing off the face of the earth after their shitty prog rock concept album about a fascist dentist a few years back, "heil to the teeth", king indie fags RADIOHEAD are back with more shit that is going to make those closeted pitchfork writers want to give blowjobs to Mr. Happy Thom Yorke (unless they're lesbians then they're dreaming about teagan and sara's shecocks)
FIRST OF ALL, I am SICK of this GUFF about how Radiohead have gone about selling this latest piece of shite. they are not cool and wild and reckless because they are using publicity just like the usual whores of the music industry. You see, Thom and the Zoloft gang used ROCKTOBER to promote their shitty album. Yessireeee they waited until the first of ROCKTOBER to announce the release of this album on the tenth of ROCKTOBER thus taking advantage of a HOLY FESTIVAL of ICY COLD CANS OF COKES FROM BLACK THUNDERS
this is like leonard cohen using ramadan to promote his new album!!!
also wtf at the usual fags from the guardian/whatever trendy left "newspaper" pissing their pants about this strategy of selling it over the internets? HELLO EVER HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED iTUNES? NO! THEN STOP HAVING YOUR FAGGY FOCCACIA LUNCHES AND DO SOME RESEARCH, SON!!!
seriously this is retarded. guys like prince, david bowie and antipope julian XXI have been selling mp3s on the internet since 1987. and because that homogay thom yorke does it now it's news??? i don't think so, tim
and the price! who cares! when was the last time anyone under the age of 15 or over 45 purchased music? about 1998, dudes. and that shitty band who i cant remember because they were so shit gave away their album in MAY!! and they didn't ask for ANYTHING!!
for my review i went to get a copy from the radiohead internets site and when they asked me what I should pay I entered "-$100" because i think radiohead OWE ME $100 if i have to listen to their shitty album. that wasn't accepted so i torrented it HAW HAW STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN NOW THOM
but, wait a sec, holmes. what if you don't have internets or dial-up?? then you have to buy a record for $900 that includes a vinyl copy and a video of the drummer masturbating over a picture of avril lavigne (i have seen this and it is not pretty)
so thom is hating on the non internet pplz of the world
now who can't get internet? poor people!
where do the majority of the world's poor people live? africa!
what colour skin do africans have? mostly black
you see? YOU SEE? THOM YORKE DOESN'T WANT BLACK PEOPLE LISTENING TO HIS MUSIC!! this is final proof that thom yorke is a bigger racist than eric clapton and bryan ferry combined!!
arsehole!!
anyway before this turns into a dom passantino review (ha ha ha, he can only get a gig at *DROWNED IN SOUND* now what a fag now he has to write shit about art brut) let's go through this piece of shit - TRACK BY TRACK
now first of all some tuneless fags have said this is like talk talk's post rock albums. these fags are retards because mark hollis knew how to write a song. must have been the heroin. and this shite is not even 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000004% good as those guitars on the rainbow. this rawks, yo. my housemate's stupid fag boyfriend was around saturday and i think he hated it.
what would he know!!!
1, 2 Step
oh look an ironic indie cover of a recent pop release
:ROLLEYES:
because thom yorke thinks he is anywhere near as talented as ciara. it'll be funny when the popjustice homos string him up by the balls!!!
seriously, this kinda of shit sucks. and i'm not just talking travis (lol travis). except for that maximo parkcover of justin thimberlake which was like a 3rd rate A CERTAIN RATIO. or aztec cameras OBVIOUSLY.
the only thing worse, btw, is ironic pop cover of indie music. i would say the only punishment worthwhile for lily allen is gangrape but she wouldn't notice because her vagina is too damn loose!!
Bodysnatchers
more like timesnatchers as in you're wastin' my time thom listening to yer bitchin'
Nude
the bassist dude gets naked and tries to rape thom. hijinks!!
Weird Fishes/Apreggi
this shit is why radiohead sucks the cock. they are so crap that they need TWO TITLES for ONE SONG because they have no imagination, no talent, no doing verbs, etc, etc.
here's an example:
GOOD BAND: OMD because Andy McCluskey was like "let's make TWO SONGS about joan of arc while i get a perm" so they made TWO SONGS about joan of arc and he got a rad 80s perm
BAD BAND: radiohead because thom is like "ohhh how depressing is life and oh god i'm going to screw the record industry over even through i've made millions off those guys and i'm going to make sure all the office admin people who are all only temps and get paid shit all lose all their jobs...and ohhh i can't decide what title to give my shit song so i will give them both while i lay in scrooge mcduck's money pit"
All I Want
haha an echo and the bunnymen cover
you're not even chris martin, thom
at least that kid had the balls to say he was a virgin until he was 27
Faust Amp
your amp is busted because the guitars sound like SHIIITY SHIT
Reckoner
i reckon this song sucks and is boring
much like yr mom
House of Cards
wtf with this women singing in these songs btw
SPENT THE RECORD COMPANY ON HOOKERS AND THEN USED IT FOR YOUR OWN GAIN!!!
Jisgaw Falling Into Place
actually this song sounds like Turds Falling Into Toliets (for realz)
Videotape
heh typical luddites. now only are these fags are the last to use the internet to sell music, they sing a song about VIDEOTAPES. and probably BETA. ever heard of something called a DVD, thom???
The Verdict
if you still like this album despite the DAMNING EVIDENCE, you are a dumbass who only listens to people you think are trend setters. in this case, you think people from THE INTERNET are trend setters. therefore, you are the saddest nerd in history. please proceed to make a certificate on microsoft publisher with that statement and hang it up on your wall. then stare at it for thirty minutes for every day for the rest of your life untill you kill yourself with an overdoes of zoloft (i give it two weeks)
esteban buttez in tha BUTTEZSPHERE
yo fagz this is ESTEBAN BUTTEZ the NUMBER ONE INTERNET MUSIC JOURNALIST and i am back to pwn you fagz at the writing now those fey gay fag feyfags at Stylus are DEAD (todd burns u suck at life and nick southall you are real gay) and Pitchfork? who da fuckstill reads pitchdork?
ANYWAY i know some of my holmes who know me are asking "ESTEBAN BUTTEZ? You rejected Stylus, Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, The Guardian, The Welsh Communist Party Newsletter...why are you lowering yourself to the BLOGOPSHERE?"
Wellllll for a start you gay fag - it's the BUTTEZSPHERE. secondly this is where its at - i read an article in the NME about it. also those fags radiohead (more like boring old cunt fags) are trying to take over the internet and i ain't lettin that happen.
more importantly both matchbox 2020 and radiohead and maynard g. krebbs are back and homeboy i gotta stop it and save music
STAY TUNED MY HOMIES!!
ANYWAY i know some of my holmes who know me are asking "ESTEBAN BUTTEZ? You rejected Stylus, Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, The Guardian, The Welsh Communist Party Newsletter...why are you lowering yourself to the BLOGOPSHERE?"
Wellllll for a start you gay fag - it's the BUTTEZSPHERE. secondly this is where its at - i read an article in the NME about it. also those fags radiohead (more like boring old cunt fags) are trying to take over the internet and i ain't lettin that happen.
more importantly both matchbox 2020 and radiohead and maynard g. krebbs are back and homeboy i gotta stop it and save music
STAY TUNED MY HOMIES!!
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