now 99.9% of you all will be like "lol what shit is that" and i will be like "oh its like the BRITS but even shitter because it is for AUSTRALIAN RAWK only and you will be like "oh lol"
yeah son i was there and it was shit and i didnt even get a blowjob from that one from those twin sisters so fuck that. also they had that tooheys shit. homeboy i like tooheys old but that aint trendy so they were givin us music journalists that extra dry GUFF and i was like "GIVE ME COOPERS, SON" and this 16 year old jock fag cunt was like "uhhh we dont have that because we get paid by beer people to promote to trendy trendsetters like u"
bloody hell son
anyway the ceremony sucked ass and SILVERCHIAR (lol no rly) were voted best gayass aussie rawk band, best shitty boring straight ahead aussie rawk album (lol next year it will be wolfmother's direct cover of deep purple) and boringist boring jock fag shit evah
welcome to australia in the year 2007 lol rly that whiny fag talks about shitting his pants, marries that anoerixc bitch who had that song and makes a shitty shit album full of boring guff which is another copy of LOL FROGSTOMP LOL and thats the best australian album of the year
still who else were they gonna give it to? powdersfingers?
pays de merde
keith urban was there. he's the alcoholic fag that married nicole kidman because she only marries fag. he won the best australian country album which is like being student of the year in a special school
that bitch from sneaky system sounds has a dick lol
john butler trio won the award for "album most purchased by office workers aged 22-30 that have no taste and dont want to listen to anything challenging just some folk GUFF shit while they pretend to smoke weed but just drink shit beer like tooheys extra dry or BLONDE GUFF"
tha hilltop hoods had to win the best urban release again with their album from last year because ever since john howard killed the aboriginals and the sudanese refugees there are no black people in australia (except for arndale)
coming into the aria hall of fame was king fuckwit Nick Cave. what for? being shit!! haha wtf. here's how nick cave's career has progressed:
1887: goes to london because he thinks there some shitty english bands that are as shit as them and they sell about 16 cassettes. by the time he gets there, they have invented the new pop which is about 10000000x better and that upsets nick because he can't do music that is listenable only shitty GUFF STUFF
1891: upset nick becomes a tard and does music influenced by american tards that hate europe (copyright robin carmody). note that he now lives in EUROPE
1985: becomes shitty 80s goth botherer. even worse version of killing joke if possible.
1995: tries to fuck kylie minogue but fails
1997: becomes annoying uphimself cunt singing about god and shit
2007: looks like a crap version of ugly dave gray if such a thing is possible but without the dick jokes
final proof that you have to get into a hall of fame for australian "music" you have to be a tard and shit at every attempt you've made at music. this is why shit fag tards like nick cave and ac/dc (more like tard/retard) and other guff get in. and why teh go-betweens and the triffids and the good guys from the television advertisement for whitegoods retailer the good guys don't get in
basically you have to sing shit about retarded american goth shit or retarded reheated seventies dinosaur rawk to do well in this fucking lame ass country
while if you sing about cattle and cane and the good guys slashing prices on quality good you get shafted
which is bullshit because what has nick cave done for me? fuck all
what have the good guys done for me? i got a hella good toaster from the good guys at pooraka for ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS and they still sing better than nick cave
because they really do slash the prices
2 comments:
Esteban,
Have you considered writing for The Spin Starts Here? I believe you have what it takes to fit in with that crew of rowdy iconoclasts.
this is far and away the most lucid and accurate history of Australian music industry that I have ever read.
five stars my friend.
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